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I run out of space for revealing conversation about parents and Gutman gives us children. If asked, the retake. I draw here first advice: "Parents: godfathers and godmothers look! Modernity leaves us without comrades, but not left alone at home with his son, sofa and TV. Are you with someone who is with you while are with their children. Being left alone with a little stuck on a floor is exhausting not be delivered to the Blackberry: encuéntrense with other parents and children, not with predatory companies coming to tell them that everything they do wrong, but good friends who want to share with you the wonderful condition of parents. "C hen you're a kid, your family is awarded a role and so you become the fool or ready ; the vague or nerd ; the pretty or nice. .. family.
And you're still a lifetime. What if I get to be the vague, the bad and the silly family?
have a problem, but not lower than they decide who is the clever, handsome and entrepreneur. Because neither of them have chosen this role , and, until they discover that represents a character that is not him, is living a life that is not yours.
And find out is to grow?
To grow you have to be aware of that script you wrote for your family: discover the role you were assigned and why.
For example ...
Maybe the family needed an owl to bear the sins of all or a braino compensate them with their success in some social exclusion ... And you will be touched. The reasons for which you are assigned a role are endless, but the important thing is to be discovered. Only when you do you start be yourself.
What if I live so quiet?
'll be doomed to repeat the patterns and values \u200b\u200bthat gave you your family. It may never come into conflict with them, because it is more comfortable playing the role assigned you to live your own life. If your family was wealthy, conservative and biempensante and you never stop being you're thinking you'll be a dutiful son, but ... Would you be?
What if I become a Zen monk?
Somehow, the rebel-without knowing you are living your script, not yours: it will be met, even upside down.
I see so many people tortured.
Until one day fall into crisis. And then we all want a quick fix.
Is there?
If you take 20, 30, 40, 50, 60 years living a life that is not yours, do not expect to discover and reconstruct you in ten minutes. You have to understand yourself.
How?
The paths are many and each one chooses his: psychoanalysis, family constellations, meditation or simply learn to self-analysis ... Any method of introspection may help to discover and then rewriting the script of our lives.
I'm glad you do not sell a prescription. Even
I discover anything. What I say is as old as mankind, but that is why today has become so forget: Know thyself.
Why do we forget so easily?
For just shirk responsibility: it is more comfortable to think that the cause of our problems is always external. It always happens to you because of work, your partner, your parents, your children ... when, if you are forty years, the truth is that forty years have you been riding this problem you now explodes. Your life is a puzzle that you built with you trapped inside. You to understand how you've started to learn to leave it.
Again: How?
Most of us do not have a global perspective on our own mental construction. We see our life as a work of twenty players in each parrots his script without listening to others. To begin, you should stop deempeñarte in being right and start to worry about having the truth.
What do you suggest?
Get off the stage of life to see what role do and what it is organized around them. And to get off, find someone who tells you not want to hear. That's easy! I do not mean your enemies, but a friend to tell you the truth, because the enemy will tell you things you do not like but are not always true, the friend will tell you certain things, but not always you like.
Where do we start?
Put in perspective, admits that neither you nor your problems are so important.
Why not start yourself?
I got pregnant and I was a mother without wanting to, without my identity outside of motherhood. Suddenly, I realized that I had a child who needed my whole person and not just the piece of stem was left to him after of having done everything else: professional, attractive woman, intellectual, social woman alive ...
What do I do?
no solutions, only truth and lies. The truth is that my son was born to be the center of my life, but he felt that it was not and that drawing attention to misbehave.
Is that just in trauma for life?
not only for life, also from generation to generation: if you do not learn to love the love of their fathers, where you will learn how to give to their children? How to cut the chain of helplessness?
¿...?
Again, with a conscience. You have to discover that what you lived as a child is different than you think you lived or been led to believe that lived ...
And back to the top!
Because our memories are the ones who have given us and not what actually happened. But that is not only a tragedy, it is also an opportunity. Exciting work is ahead to discover and discover.
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